Dreams Stink.

No, that wasn’t just clickbait. Hear me out.

I love dreaming! I love the realistic, and the insane. The safe, and the risky. I love that you can’t EVER have enough. I love the fact that hearts desire adventure. And I definitely love how every human has their own. The sucky part is they’re sometimes hard, or scary to get started. We tend to want them to happen overnight, and along with them, have all the success we could ask for. We love going big until it gets hard. Get out of our comfort zone? What?

“I want to be the president!”, or “I want to cure cancer!” or “I want to be a CEO!”

Those. Those are the dreams that take patience, hard work, and time. Everyone has that huge idea in their heart that seems unreachable, and too far out there. But what about the little ones along the way? What about the small steps you can take TO reach them. No, not everyone wants to be a world leader, a scientist making the latest discoveries, or running a business. But that’s the point. Our desires are unique, and valuable. And you can do them. So where do I come in?

Hi! I’m Kennedi. I’m 18 years old, and about to be a college student. I love to create, I adore everything cute, and one of my dreams is to be a blogger.

Pretty small right? Nope, not in my head. For well over a year I’ve wrestled with this idea, and each time thought, “Nahh. There are far too many already out there. How could mine EVER stand out in the google search engine?” So I kept pushing it to the back burner, hence the year-long wait. But I constantly went back to that little desire poking at my heart. I’d make up my lifestyle and fashion posts in my head, or plan for a photoshoot that didn’t exist. I’d see myself sitting in a coffee shop designing my next page to publish. And pretty soon, I’d had enough.

I have been comfortable a LOT of my life. I’ve searched for affirmation in others when I wanted to work on a project. But this? This calls for boldness and a go-get-em attitude. I’ve never made such a physical step into pursuing a dream. So you know what? I decided to do it…

…AND IT FEELS GOOD.

So welcome to my page, lovelies!

This will be a lifestyle blog that will hopefully please all your likes. I want this to be a place where you can enjoy some pictures, fashion, tips, and other fun things I have planned. (I wasn’t kidding when I said I already made some up.) So thank you all for the encouragement, and love. I pray everyone feels this way when they step into their dream. I’m so excited!

xoxo,

the girl that decided to go for it

 

 

That One Laundry Chair in Your Room

Nothing special here, nothing crazy artsy or aesthetic.

Processed with VSCO with m5 presetProcessed with VSCO with m5 presetProcessed with VSCO with m5 preset

A messy table with all the colors I used, an old birthday party plate for my paint pallet (that alliteration though), my watered down Starbucks, and mucky paint water, and the finished product of said “ingredients”. Nothing worthy of posting on the gram, right? Ahhh, yes, exactly how I like it. Imperfectly perfect, imperfectly comfy, imperfectly me.

How crazy is it, that we feel on edge, not ourselves, and confined when we aren’t doing something we’re passionate about? At least it feels that way to me. Well, let me back up and explain more. I’ll let you in on my brain.

For most of 2019, I’ve struggled, and I honestly hate saying that. I love being put together, and “all set” and healthy and with it, and quite frankly I’ve been the opposite. I was never one to deal with this so-called anxiety that’s apparently around and effecting a devastating amount of the human population, and honestly, my attitude toward people who say they struggle, is “oh, get over it, it’s not that bad right? Just tell yourself not to be anxious anymore”, and for that, I apologize, I truly do. Because that life-sponge is what has been effecting me this year. It’s been quite the journey, an emotional, hard, rollercoaster of a lot of unknowns. Nights where I wouldn’t sleep until 4am, days I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house because of the “what ifs”, and panic that I’ve never experienced before. It’s not constant, but it shows up when you least expect it, leaving you no preparation.

Since January, I’ve overcame the thought that seeing a therapist is embarrassing, and conquered much. All wonderful things. I’m better than ever currently, yet I’m still working through life, (aren’t we all?). And through this journey of learning and dealing with different parts of my mind, it’s brought a whole new perspective to Jesus being constant. Yes, I “knew” that before, and I hear about it all the time. But let me tell you, it’s never rang more true in this mind of mine than now.

The nights where I couldn’t bear another hour of being awake thinking, the days where I didn’t leave the couch, the panics where I couldn’t think of anything else, I was wrapped in His arms. When I was spiraling down, my nose about to graze the ground, He was there, swooping in, doing what any good father does, fighting for their kids, standing up to lies, and pouring peace over me in return. I’m trying my best to lean more into Him everyday, the Keeper of that surpassing-everything-logical peace.

This subject is a whole other story, but I wanted to shed some light on it. Through all this, it’s so incredibly easy to hate the way my mind works, why it over thinks, why it tends to be a little bit OCD, and why it’s so analytical for no reason. However, a talk with my mom today lifted those worries off. We started discussing, what if we think of our minds as a gift rather than a burden? What if the things we think are a hinderance, are actually a gift? Like for example, why can’t I simply put a shirt back at the store in the wrong place without my mind saying, “you’re gonna think about that later and not get over it”? It’s because I value order, and when things are neat. Not saying I’m going to be a slave to OCD, but I’m learning to be thankful for that. Because someday when I have a house and a family, that’s going to come in handy. You know, until I have four kids under eight and healthy breakfasts and all things organization go out the window. Pop Tarts for days am I right?

What if the random urge to go back and look at something that I thought was a waste of time, but my brain not letting me forget that I didn’t do it, was something that God wanted to use to inspire me or my creativity? What if the vast universe of fields and cities that make up my mind that can get overwhelming isn’t abnormal, but exactly the way it’s supposed to be. I’m learning to love my mind, and what it looks like to be still in the arms of God, the only one who longs to be invited into your mess, because I’m about as put together as that laundry chair you have in your room. But then again it has all of your favorite things, and you still know where everything is, so I’m okay with that.

Back to the beginning and the point of this whole overdue blog. During this season in my life, I realized more than ever it’s important to do what you’re passionate about. During times of laziness, no motivation, and so many temptations to quit what you’re good at, don’t. Apart from leaning into the One who made you exactly the way you were meant to be, get out and do what you love. When I don’t take pictures, when I don’t paint, or write, or be with people, I don’t feel 100% myself, and I actually love that it’s like that. It validates my loves and passions. I feel alive when I’m surrounded by creativity…oh and flowers.

Regardless of if you’ve dealt with anxiety before, this is for everyone. There’s a reason you love doing certain things and feel different when you aren’t doing said things. Go find them, go get them, go DO them. I tapped into that today, deciding to paint, and write, look at me go! In all seriousness though, I feel refreshed, more like Kennedi.

I’m not even sure if any of this makes sense, but like I mentioned, writing is another thing I love, so if anything, this is for me. But hey, I so appreciate you reading it too.

“The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still” Exodus 14:14

xoxo

Kennedi

18 Loves of My Life

I’ve been alive for 18 years, probably remembering only 13 of them. It’s been wild & free, easy & hard, adventurous & safe, and quite the journey. It’s easy to think of the trials we’ve been through. However, I want to live a life focusing on the good. So, yes the title says it all…here are 18 loves of my life.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Relationships

Not one being like the other, we have so many opportunities to get to know people…anyone we want, isn’t that crazy? I love that we are constantly creating new ones, and strengthening old ones, both equally amazing. We were made for community and I love what relationships bring to the table.

Passions & Careers

Sometimes I think too long about a concept of life and it freaks me out, this being one of them. We each have a choice to make about where we want our life to go, career wise. Each of us has passions, but what one are we going to go with? Someone think about being a baker in NYC, but also love teaching children, and on top of that want to pursue business. Each one being great, I love that we have choices.

Saturdays

The day where you sleep in, drink your first coffee at 10, and are finally ready for the day at noon. The day that can take you anywhere, whether that is a no-destination-drive, or a lunch date, or even relaxing right at home. I love the atmosphere and the feeling of Saturday, and I’m so thankful they’re a thing.

Humans

I love them. They’re hilarious, weird, different. I could sit in public and simply watch a crowd all day. Isn’t it just crazy that we can talk? Think? Have emotions? We all look different, and each experience the same exact day a totally different way. Woah.

Seasons

Both literally and figuratively. In summer we look forward to fall, in fall, winter (well some of us), and in the winter, spring. Each one bringing new beginnings, new feels, new things to do, and it’s all in a constant cycle. Figuratively being life, whether it’s dry and you’re feeling blah, to one where life is just on your side. It’s a weird thing to love the dry ones, but I always look back on those seeing how faithful Jesus was and is going to be. He is always rooting for us.

Second Chances

Think about how many friends, family and memories we would be without today, if second chances were non-existent. I love that we can realize we’re all human and have the love in our hearts to extend grace to one another…all because we were extended the same thing.

Dogs

This is pretty much self-explanatory. What would life be without those gifts from above?

Style

I recently told my mom, “I have no idea what my actual style is…” and she said, “That’s amazing!” And she’s totally right. We weren’t made to fit into a mold of one specific group, or type of something. I love that each day I have the chance to be myself, with the simple act of what I want to wear. It’s easy to compare ourselves with what media shows us, but goodness, life is too short to let others have power over us.

Diversity

If this list was in order of importance, this one would be more toward the top. I love culture. I love the differences in people, and how the world doesn’t all look the same. (How absolutely boring would that be?) God sure knew what he was doing making all of these beautiful faces around the globe and he sure knew that the world would be a little brighter because of it.

Comfortable Conversations 

As much as we need the different, unpredictable ones, we need slow and easy. The types that go with sitting on a couch with a friend, maybe silence being the best convo.

The Movie Industry

Even if some are simply too predictable, or unrealistic, I think movies are so fun. I personally am a cheeseball, so I’m always down for a mushy, probably-never-going-to-happen-in-real-life romance. I love that each story is different, and even with the thousands out there, a creative mind can still dream up a new one.

Humor

Frankly, I don’t know what I’d do without humor. I’m blown away by how funny life is, and how hilarious society can be. I’m in love with memes, Vines (RIP), and the constant supply of laughter I’m given just by opening my phone or spending time with others.

Family

To say I love family is such an understatement and I can’t quite put into words how thankful I am that it’s something we can know here on earth.

Beauty

I adore the beauty in this world, and the endless definitions of it. From artwork, to buildings, to people, to nature…the list goes on. I think appreciation of life starts with knowing beauty when you see it.

Love

How special is it, that we get to experience so many levels of love? The love from a parent, a sibling, a friend, a relative, the romance from someone…it’s all so impactful, and incredible. We all need it, we all give it, and it’s quite honestly what makes this world turn. #allbecauseofJesus

Learning

The constant opportunities we have to better ourselves is encouraging. I love that we don’t have to have it all together all the time, and that the process of life is normal and unique. From sitting in a classroom, to real world lessons, each journey we partake in is valuable and not worthy of comparison.

The Unexpected

This one has been a work in progress, however the key word is progress. I’m getting there! My mind doesn’t like change…it actually sometimes can’t even. But I’ve learned to love it. What’s the fun in knowing everything anyway? Life is too short to be predictable, and I want to keep it that way.

Life (yes this one counts)

I’m in love with life. Sometimes it brings you through the loop, and sometimes you’re dancing on top of a figurative mountain. I find myself overwhelmed with the simple fact that Jesus had such a special and SPECIFIC purpose for me, that he wanted-no needed- me to walk here on this earth. And that goes for everyone! He saw all that was made, and he saw the whole future of the world, and knew you had to be a part of it. Dang. It’s such an honor to be pursued by the creator of the universe, and to have the simple ability to love things about life, and I pray you can all find things to love.

 

There is nothing accidental about you

xoxo

Kennedi

 

 

The Grand Rapids

Goodness gracious, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted on here.

I’m definitely feeling the six-weeks-into-college-I’m-sometimes-drowning- mood. However! My lovely roommate (find yourself a pal like Mal) and I found time to venture downtown and take a much needed break.

Just a quick simple post this time! Here are some fun snaps I wanted to share.

Processed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 preset

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset
Thrift dress + the most extra shoes I own

Processed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 preset

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset
cutie cutie cutie

Processed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 presetProcessed with VSCO with a6 preset

College is difficult, amazing, confusing, hilarious, one of the craziest things I’ve ever been a part of, and I wouldn’t trade a thing. Thank you Jesus for your joy that gives me strength, and coffee that tops it off.

 

Let’s be brave & kind and love more than less.

xoxo

Kennedi

10 Things I’ve Learned in the First Week of College

It’s sinking in, people. I can officially say I’m a “college student”. Ever since I was little, I’ve always loved the idea of being one, and now it’s here…and I love it. I’ve been on campus for just over a week, and I already can’t get enough.

As I was going through this week, I felt a little overwhelmed with all the work I’m receiving. To be honest, I kind of forgot about my blog, and realized college may change this. But during that time of stress Jesus told me, “I will always make time for your dreams”. So here I am, 11:30 at night, taking a break from a paper I have to write, to share some of my heart. Because I finally have some time.

 

1. People thrive in an atmosphere of acceptance.

I say this from personal experience. I’ve never been in a place where I feel so loved, all the time. And it does something to you. You’re motivated, encouraged, and you can totally take on anything.

2. Community is everything.

No more of that High School “I’m a senior so I don’t talk to freshman” nonsense. Going to a college where community is so valued, I see the fruits it produces. The kindness, and value that flows through everyone is unreal.

3. Sometimes you have to chug coffee in two minutes.

Hopefully it cools down as you bring it to your mouth. #gottagettoclass

 

4. You have to put yourself out there.

Make friends, join groups, be outgoing! It’s the best way to get to know your fellow classmates, and get the best out of this whole college thing.

5. Mom and Dad were right.

About everything.

6. You have to have those dance parties.

Maybe it’s just me, but for my roomie and I, these are daily. Turn it up and take a break to break it down.

7. Sleep is as important as you make it.

You can choose to have six hours, or ten. Yes I’ve done both.

8.  Balance is key.

It takes a bit to find the whole flow of things, but once you do, you will find the balance in your life. Make sure your priorities are straight, you get the work done, and save some room for fun.

9. Make your dorm room as comfy and homey as you can.

I don’t know about you, but I want to enjoy my room, and have it be a place for the times where PJ’s are the best option, and hot cocoa is always on the menu.

10. Jesus is so faithful.

From little things like someone offering to buy you coffee, to steadying your heart when it’s becoming anxious. There is never a time where He’ll put you on hold. So tell him your desires, your fears, your worries, your excitement. He will bring everything full circle and is waiting to connect with you.

+++

If this is only a snippet of my first week, I can’t imagine what will take place the rest of this year. Thank you all for your prayers and your listening ears. I can’t wait to step into my purpose even more!

Now to get back to that paper.

 

“Exist Loudly”

xoxo Kennedi

 

Out of the Nest

I’ll be real.

I’m freaking scared.

I move out in less than a week, and along with that comes college, and along with that comes new people, and along with that comes new places and new experiences. I know so many people going through the same thing, and maybe they’re handling it better, but maybe they’re like me. Goodness, just thinking about it makes me so nervous and emotional. I love my home…so so much. I would live there all through college if I could. And I could! But I’m not.

As much as I would love to be comfortable, I know I wouldn’t grow as much as living on campus. I don’t always do well with change, but this is one that is necessary, healthy, and inevitable. I’m writing all of this as if I’m moving out of state or something…but the funny thing is I’m only going to be 20 minutes away. Still, in my little head and heart, that’s a lot to take in.

Don’t get me wrong, I feel as though I’m MORE than prepared for the real world. My parents have done the best possible job raising me. Treating me like an adult, allowing me to make mistakes and fix them myself, loving me through all of my phases. That’s the problem though, they’re too great, and now I don’t want to leave…so good job mom and dad, you’re the real MVP’s.

It became real to me when one morning my mom and I were talking about the new things coming up and she said, “I believe in you. If you ever need to vent, or need anything at all, just call me.”

What?! You mean I won’t be just a floor in the house away, and I won’t be able to yell “MOM!” when I can’t find the jeans that were right in front of me, and I won’t be coming home every night to my whole family in the living room laughing until 10:00, and I won’t hear first hand the stories of their day.

Growing up is so hard. One moment I want to be back in high school, the next I want to be right where I am, and then I want to be 25 living with my own family. Life has a way of playing with you sometimes, but I want to be a person who appreciates the past, lives for the moment, and patiently waits for what is ahead of me. (Wow that sounded so cliche, but it’s true).

I meant it when I said I was a homebody. I’m the oldest child, the first one to ever do something like this, and man is it tough. The changes in people, plans, and places are many, but I have no doubt that I (and all you other newbie college kids) will conquer them. I pour my heart out to Jesus constantly, and He never fails to listen and come right back with a gentle voice of encouragement. And not the fake, recorded encouragement either. The real voice of someone who cares deeply and wants the best for you. That’s my confidence.

Honestly, this felt more like a rant than anything, but regardless, it felt good to get some feelings out. I’m nervous, but ready for this coming change, and I’m okay with that. I’m learning not to be sorry for feelings…they’re normal.

This stage of life is going to be exciting, challenging, and different, but I know that whenever I come home, I’ll always see my family there in the living room.

 

“God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears.” Psalm 34:4

xoxo Kennedi

 

Dorm Decor

Hi everyone!

College is (very) soon approaching, and I have had the BEST time shopping for little things to make my dorm feel like home; Finding pieces that make the place “me”. I wanted to share some of my favorites so far! Later on, I’ll post the finished space…but for now, a sneak peek!

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

A simple way to add to a little space are display mugs! I won’t have cupboards obviously, so I’ll keep them out by my Keurig. (West Elm, and Anthropologie are to thank for these cuties).

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

You better believe I’m bringing all my plant babes with me. So why not make the simple things cute? This is one of my favs!

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Ahh! I love rain boots. These aren’t decoration obviously, but still. I’ll be using these whenever the weather allows, since everything is in walking distance!

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Hmmm, anything look familiar? Yup, they’re the same sheets. I take “making your dorm feel like home” very seriously. #homebody #dontjudge

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Give me all the cozy vibes. Not only are these three pillows the cutest, but they are so stinkin’ comfy, you wouldn’t believe it. Yes please.

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Keep the cozy vibes coming.

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Okay, how amazing is this plate?! Seriously, it’s all in the details.

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Fun bowls are also a must. I’m not always into yellow, but for some reason, lately it’s been catching my eye! Such a happy color.

 

img_7341-e1502500422319.jpg

Now onto the desk area accessories! This one stresses me out a bit because there’s so many parts to it! But it’s all about getting a couple things at a time, and eventually piecing them all together. I always keep an eye out for cute and silly cards, too.

 

 

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

These two will probably go above my desk, to hang some pieces from home!

 

 

These were just some of my favorites so far, and I can’t wait to show you all my finished room! We’re in the home stretch, people. I move in so soon! I have so many mixed feelings, since I’m the first one to leave home, but I’m so ready to grow, in every area of my life. Until then, bring on the last two weeks of summer! (What?!)

 

Be confident. Be brave. Be you.

Xoxo Kennedi

15 Life Goals

…or you could say dreams. (Yes, I’m really into those right now). Regardless, I’m going to share with you guys some big and small things I pray that happen in this crazy thing called life.

1. I want to travel.

That may be such a cliche, but you know what I think is a little bit sad? The fact that we won’t see everything the world has to offer. There will inevitably be places that you just don’t get to visit. Sorry to go all Debby Downer on you, but I’ll take that as trying to see as many places as possible that fit into whatever else I decide to be. (And be oh so content with where I get to go).

 

2. I want a dog named Henry.

It’s specific, but true. How couldn’t you love a pup named Henry?

 

3. I want to be brave.

Help me with this one, Jesus. I said before, I want to be the girl that decided to go for it. I want to get my hands and feet dirty, and not be afraid to get things done. I want to be used in this world, with the gifts I have.

 

 

4. I want to take a selfie with someone famous

Honestly, it could be anyone from Liam Hemsworth, to a News Anchor. I wouldn’t complain about Liam though.

 

5. I want a garden

Nothing like some good ‘ol home growin’

 

6. I want to be a Momma.

My number one dream has always been to be a wife and mom, and it’s no different today, then when I was five years old pretending I had my own family. I can’t (but can) wait to have my own little humans to name, dress, raise, all with my someday best friend. In our own little house, with our dog Henry. I get giddy just thinking about that time in my life, yet I don’t want to rush this part. Goodness people, it’s a struggle.

 

7. I want to learn how to play an instrument

I’ve always pictured having a white piano in my house someday, but first I should probably know how to play one.

 

8. I hope to journal a lot.

I want to be able to look back, and remember the times in my life that were worth journaling. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, and everything in between.

 

9. I want my family and I to always be close

If I’ve learned one thing from my parents, grandparents, and so on…it’d be that family is more than valuable. They’re forever friends, and will always be some of the best shoulders to lean on. I’ve had the best example from my whole (even extended!) family, and I will take that mindset with me for the rest of my life.

 

10. I want to put beauty into being human

That looks different for everyone…but oh is it important.

 

11. I want a group of friends that last a lifetime

You know, the one where family dinner parties are a given? Christmas get-togethers, and summer BBQ’s? Yeah. That one.

 

 

12. Go Vegetarian for one month

It doesn’t seem all that difficult…until I say goodbye to chicken.

 

13. I want to watch more sunsets than Netflix.

Yes, that’s a quote, but it’s a good one.  

 

14. To have a library in my house, and have read all of the books.

This one takes time, but I’m willing.

 

15. I want to love well.

Actions are so much louder than words, and above all else, I want my life to be driven by the selfless love of Jesus that I get to reflect back during my time here.

 

That is the smallest snippet of my mental list, but you have to start somewhere. What are some of your life goals?!

 

 

8d126b6f365961011596495d9f7d0cfd

xoxo Kennedi